I'm still here!

I'm back! I haven't given up on my recent keeping-up-with-this-blog motivation. Just needed some inspiration and actively went looking for it this afternoon.

The last few weeks of our Mexican vacation were awesome. We had a lot of friends (old and new) coming in and out of the house to stay, which meant a lot of socializing and entertaining/cleaning.

Poker kids and camera crew at Splash in Rosarito, Mexico

Combine that with all the poker I was trying to cram in and I didn't do any more videos. But behind all these excuses, I think the real reason I didn't make any more videos was that I felt like I hit a road block. I started improvising every video, which is fine, but I think I was ready for a new step: using those improvisations as the material I could edit and manipulate into something better-crafted. This step is a goal that takes more time and creativity. Learning poker also takes time and creativity. And since we were in Mexico for me to play, I decided I would put my efforts towards improving my game.

It paid off! I took second for the biggest score I've had to date in poker--- $917! It was exhilarating to have all the guys surrounding the computer to root me on and help me out with the heads up, etc. 1st was $1,300 I think so I was slightly disappointed, but I know I'm improving.

I also made some heavy decisions while in Mexico. I know I can make poker something I'm successful at. I'm capable, if nothing else. But I now know that I can't spend every second of every day playing and talking about all the complex situations you run into in poker. It's a very intricate game. Russell and Jesse and the other poker friends that were down there have no trouble analyzing different spots over and over again, but my brain starts to go numb and at some point, I just crave a creative and physical outlet. It's in my bones. This got me thinking: should I continue pursuing poker if I can't become the best at it? Is it too unstable to provide immediate life happiness? Am I actually going off on a life tangent by trying to play poker, travel AND dance? Should I just stick to dance and get a part time job in some cafe or retail store? I'm 24. When am I gonna be financially stable and get this 'career thing' going??


Then, a big sigh. A smile at the pelicans fighting over a fish down there in the waves. A surprise when a dolphin pops up. Is anyone else seeing this?!? This is silly.


Yes, I'm 24. Yes, I'm trying something different. Yes, I'm broke. But I trust my initial inclinations to make a living out of poker. I have the best teachers around me and I get to see, first hand, why their freedom to travel and work whenever they want appeals to me more than any random part-time job could. I'm just starting, so this is the hard part. I have people who love me, I am seeing the world, I'm going to relax. I promise.

My conclusion: stick with poker until the end of 2013. Get a good idea of it's feasibility. Set better hours for myself for when to play. Go to dance classes throughout the week when in LA. Just do it. Make dance videos my habit, whether they're all improvised or not. Read more. Move more than that. I can do both if I really want both. And I realized, I like both more when I'm doing a little less of each.

Welp, "it feels good to have a plan". (the infamous Jesse phrase)

How you relax even when you don't want to.

Gettin' pumped for dtx!

In a few weeks I will be performing with three other lovely women in a piece by Charles O. Anderson.We will be in Austin, TX if anybody needs an excuse to visit me or this city :) This clip is part of my solo, which follows a beautiful piece of group work with all four of us. The text is by a lady named Ursula, a friend of Charles. Still trying to relate to it, but for now, just feels good to be gettin into this movement again. Can't wait til I have the room to kill it on stage! 

Sick day

I woke up feeling really sick this morning. But I improvised for about 8 minutes and then took the parts I liked the most (which unfortunately wasn't much!). Some are only a few seconds, others over a minute. If I had better editing equipment I would fade and dissolve all the clips into one. Something to put on the to do list :)

Veinticuatro

I turned 24 today. This is my birthday dance on the edge of the world. It was cloudy all day until this beautiful sunset happened. It was a little hard to balance with all the wind and moving water but this was my favorite take. I think it's fun to turn off the audio (which is just crashing waves) and play a random song and watch at the same time to see how it changes the "performance" :) Enjoy.

Trying to sloooow down

Song from college dance class

Well YouTube decided to be a pain today. I recorded a short phrase outside on our porch to a song we warmed up to a lot in college during Charles' class. Felt like reminiscing. The more videos I do the more I realize my natural movement tendencies...for future reference these are really helpful to me in finding new ways and rhythms, etc. it's nice to just get it out and "put something on paper" so to speak because I feel like each one is pushing me towards something more extravagant. Creating is more of a habit now. Editing doesn't feel so daunting. The more I watch myself move, the more I learn what I enjoy watching and what makes me feel stuck or uninterested as an audience member. All dancers should film themselves over and over again. It's so telling! Anyways, for today's video, you'll have to go to my YouTube channel, dancer3989, and find March 4 (if it's working). Sorry for the inconvenience! Will continue to try and get it on here though!

Also!!! I put up a clip under "video clips" of a rehearsal in Austin, TX. These are the lovely ladies I get to move and perform with throughout the year :) lots of fun. 

Cloudy day on the west coast

I will definitely be exploring this one more in the future. Today was a big poker grind day so I tried to rush outside before it was completely dark out. Wanted to capture how tranquil it felt this Sunday.

Improv in the closet

Decided I really wanted to dance in our new closet today. Yea, it's THAT huge. Process: 1) picked location; 2) camera angle; 3) music; and never picked dance moves. (I just improvised 4 or 5 times and picked the best take) Yay day 2!

In other news, Jesse and I have had a last longer bet going for about 3 weeks now. We can't eat bread, pasta, drink soda or beer. At all! The first person to break the rules owes the other something- in this case, Jesse will have to give me a massage whenever I want for a week and if I lose, I relinquish control of my Facebook, text messages, etc to him. We've been going strong, eating lots of veggies and protein. We seem to be losing a bit of weight doing this too. Will update if one loses!

Happy March!

   Woke up this morning and the weather was beautiful. What better way to celebrate it than by dancing around in front of this view?!